T8Z: Damian Grey WIP

D-do I have to? I'd rather not, b-but if you need to know, I'll t-try my best not to stu-stu- stammer.

Pre-infection:
Before the... infection, my life was pretty normal. Well, normal for me at least, others c-could disagree. For example, my mother d-died in a c-c-ar.. crash when I was four. That's how I got this scar, b-because I was in the back seat and got c-caught by some glass. My dad told me it was some drunk driver who hit us, so I sorta try to avoid cars and alcohol if I can help it...but to be honest, I can't remember much about my mother, I was only just old enough to realise that she was never coming b-back... All I recall is that she was very loving, had a bubbly laugh and crystal clear grey eyes...

Anyway, that left me in my Dad's paws, which, thinking back, was p-probably the last thing he wanted to happen. I'm sure my father was very loving to my Ma' but, I don't think he planned on having me. He worked long hours, I mean before the ac-cident I never even saw him between waking up or being put to bed, 'cept the weekends when he'd be resting. Nothing really changed though, he just paid a b-babysitter to basically fill in as my mother for the week days. Abi was fine enough, lovely actually.. but I could feel that she always looked at me with pity, and for a while, we didn't talk much.

Well, really I wasn't t-talking much at all after that. I wouldn't go far to say I was mute, but I quickly found it was easier to be quiet then tell others how I felt. They c-couldn't do much to help when I told them I missed mom, or that I was lonely or scared, so I just stopped trying tell them. It didn't help that Dad was just as quiet as I was. In fact, I could tell easily when he felt upset or was missing Mom, but when I t-tried to talk to him about it, he just stopped and told me that he was fine, or to stop stuttering and crying about it. Back then my stutter was terrible, it made t-talking frustrating and I ended up choking over words, so I did what my father said, and stopped. Though by stopping, I just stopped talking as much as possible, meaning I never really managed to fix my stuttering.. well you can tell.

After a while I just started avoiding my Dad or anyone, because he either felt sad for himself or they felt sad for me, and the feelings were just too much for me. I just started reading, doing whatever in my room to avoid it. I think my Dad noticed how d-distant I was, but wasn't sure how to connect with me, so life sorta continued like that until I had to start elementary school. I was just as quiet there as I was at home, not making friends, not really taking part in class, and my teacher finally addressed my Father about it, which made him make one of the best decisions of my life actually.

As a present, he brought me Edgar, a one year old German Shepherd. He told me that I was to look after the dog, to play and walk him in the garden, to help the babysitter feed and groom him, and that he was my responsibility. And that.. if I didn't want to talk to anyone, that I could always talk to Edgar because he would listen... Don't look at me like that! I was still young, and really, I took those words to heart. The golden dog quickly found his place in my life, as my most t-trusted and best friend. And he was a great dog, when I told him I was sad, he'd lick my face playfully and when I was lonely at night, he'd climb onto the b-bed and let me hug his neck. As I started to talk to Edgar, even if he didn't reply, I slowly began to talk more at school and t-tried to take part so that I could talk to Edgar about it at the end of the day. He followed me everywhere and he even started greeting me outside school once Dad decided I didn't need a b-babysitter any more. I owe that dog so much, if it wasn't for him, I'd never met my closest friends or 'family'.

What I mean by that is, around when I was 8, this family moved in across the street, and well I wasn't going to p-pay it any attention until I realised they had this little girl called Jack who was only two years younger than me. Although we didn't go to the same school, and I wasn't confident enough to go say 'hi' by myself, Edgar kept sorta d-dragging me over to her on the way home because he's such a friendly dog and.. well we ended up chatting. At first it was p-pretty awkward talking to someone so much, especially with my stutter, but she didn't seem to mind and was actually quite fun to talk to and slowly we became, friends I guess. I mean she was one of the first cats who didn't look at me with pity, just curiosity and friendship which was a nice change... We sat on her p-porch talking a lot, and after a while her Mother seemed to notice me and invited me to c-come around whenever. I wasn't really expecting it, but I sure was grateful to have somewhere to be while my Dad was at work.

Slowly going to the Austin family's home was just routine and no one seemed to mind. Jack and I were close, she and her little sister Haila began to teach me hand signing so that I could communicate with her, as she was fully deaf, and even their Dad Philip seemed to enjoy having me around the house unlike my own Father. That isn't to say me and Father didn't get closer. Once I proved I could handle myself and was becoming a little more, independent I guess, I think Dad wanted to get to know me better, so he decided to take me hunting of all things. He said he did it when he was younger, and that we c-could do it every week end to have fun. I... never told him that I hated hunting or loved animals, and that I even wanted to become a vet at some point because of Edgar, because to be honest, I wanted to have fun with my own Dad. I was slightly jealous of Jack and Philip's relationship, however much they treated me as part of their family as well. So for my 10th birthday, Dad brought me a hunting bow and took me hunting every weekend. Even if it started off awkwardly, and I mean awkward in every sense, he taught me a lot and aside from the shooting of innocent creatures, I did enjoy my time with him.

Life was going so well, by my 13th birthday, I couldn't be happier. My Dad took me out to go camping for a bit, even Edgar came along and I was just, happy... and, looking back now I think that was the last time I genuinely was.

First Encounter:
Y'see, on the way home, in the early hours of the morning, we spotted this woman getting attacked by, what we assumed to be , some crazy feline. My Dad had his hunting rifle on him, so he hopped out of the c-car and told the, the nutter to back off at gun point. I remember Edgar just whining in the back seat, and well he must of sensed how wrong the situation was but we didn't pay him any attention. The attacker just turned his attention to my Father, and charged at him, clawing and biting. And... Dad wasn't a fighter, so he just got k-knocked over and well, I didn't know what to do, so I g-grabbed the rifle and just fired like I watch my father do so many times. I sh-shot the attacker straight in the face and it was enough to make me sick for days. The she-cat thanked us timidly and ran off, most likely more scared by the brutal murder than the attacker and I just stood there c-completely stunned. 'I had killed someone. I was going to jail. I was going to die'. Sounds silly now, but that was what ran through my brain at the time. I guess I was so surprised at what I had d-done, I couldn't really remember my Dad herding me back to the car comfortingly, or driving home all injured until we literally just pulled up in the drive way.

I helped Dad into the house, Edgar tailing pitifully as he continued to whine and shake. I should of paid more attention, but my Father was so hurt and seemed to be getting sick so I just ignored the poor dog. I helped my Father clean up, disinfect the injuries and such, but he seemed so ill, I just told him to go to bed... and I don't know whether my Dad knew his time was up or if it was just coincidence, because before he shut himself in his room, he told me to keep rifle nearby just in case, and that he was 'proud' of how I acted today. Proud that I shot a tom for him. I was really confused, and still a little scared, and I could feel he was too but I tried to 'toughen up' like he always t-told me to and did what he said.

After that I collected the hunting gear, and slept on the c-couch, with Edgar nervously guarding my side, still a little torn up over what happened. I couldn't understand how we had just killed someone that day, driven off without a care, leaving his body there, why weren't the police coming to find us?I lay there in silent panic, trying to make sense of what had happened. But I must have gotten some sleep though, because I woke up in the early hours of the morning from a crash upstairs and my dog pulling me towards the door as if we were in a burning building. I couldn't do anything with Edgar like that, so I tried to pull him off me, but he only proceeded to pull himself out of his collar and whine frantically. I c-couldn't understand what was wrong, but he just kept b-barking at the door and nudging me towards it, so I opened the door for him and after a hesitant whine, he just bolted. All I saw was his golden body dashing up the street and he was gone. I shouted at him to c-come back but I couldn't leave Dad to go chasing after the crazed dog. It broke my heart that he just ran like that, but after another thud, I realised that Dad must've been in trouble to be making so much sound.

So I ran up stairs, still clutching Edgar's c-collar, only to be met with the b-blue gaze of a.. thing I will n-never associate with my father... 'It' saw me in the corridor and growled like something from my nightmares, so I just ran like Edgar did, dashed downstairs, slung the hunting bag over my shoulder and kept running until I was b-banging at Jack's house. I had no idea where else to go, and just maybe Serene would know what to do. But when she and Philip answered the d-door and listened to me explain, rather badly and stuttering every other word, that D-Dad was 'sick', Serene just pushed me into the house and told me to lock the door. I did what she said, and stood in the door way, clutching the bag and collar like a lifeline, with no idea of what was happening. I was still in sh-shock I guess. It was only after I heard a sh-sharp gun shot from across the street that I c-came to terms with everything I had just lost in a few mere hours.

On the Road:
After that, Serene and Philip just took me in as their own family, unable to leave me b-behind after what happened. I don't remember a lot of the following weeks, it was mostly just driving and trying to avoid the chaos that was erupting all around us. I was still t-trying to get over losing what was left of my old family, and while I tried to act brave and concern myself with Jack, Haila and Rob, I mean I could feel that they were just as scared as I was, it was just hard. My stutter was worst than ever and talking was way too much effort. It was like Mom's death all over again.
But I didn't distance myself this time. I did everything that family needed of me, and was determined not to lose anyone more. I didn't t-touch the rifle again but I kept the bow and arrows close in case of trouble, made sure to keep an extra eye on Jack, Haila and Rob, and just t-tried to be of help. That isn't to say I didn't mess up, or wasn't affected by all that happened or have nightmares over my D-Dad being.. infected. I did a lot, but I tried to make it my resolve to keep making my Dad proud...

So it only felt like salt b-being rubbed hard into the wounds when Philip.. Philip.. got infected. We had reached Serene's sister's place, only for it to be ransacked and desolate. Philip still got out, and I guess when he got attacked in the house, that was when it h-happened. He acted like nothing happened after Serene shot the infected monster off him, b-but when he said his goodbyes and we had to d-drive off the next day, his intentions and reasons were obvious. It made me want to lay down and give up, that everyone would d-die and I could do nothing about it, but I guess Serene's attempt at optimism despite just losing her soul mate inspired me a little to care for the others over myself. At the very least, I c-could feel how scared and upset they all were, just like I had been and still was.. so I put them first. If maybe I c-could make them feel just the little bit better, it made me feel better at least.

We kept driving though, until the SUV screeched out of c-control and crashed. It was the scariest thing ever crashing at the side of the road like that, especially with Serene knocked out from the impact. For a second I wonder if fate had decided to be particularly cruel and killed my 'adoptive' mother in a car crash as well, but it was soon clear she was only unconscious. I tried to make sure the others weren't hurt, but they were focused on shaking their mother awake, so we sat there by the c-crashed vehicle as Jack and Haila tried to revive their mother, as I sat with the youngest with my bow firmly in grip to hide the shakes racking my body. Serene did awake pretty quickly, but not before we were surrounded by a fierce group of toms who had spotted the crash. They quickly forced us in the direction of the city, and all I can remember was how much I trembled as they held as all at gun p-point.

But it seemed Serene had other ideas, once we reached the c-city, she spun around and completely owned some thug before taking their gun and letting loose! It was pretty awesome to watch, but I guess I kind of forgot how d-dangerous it was, because a bit late I tried to dive out of the way only to be grabbed by one ugly t-tom who held way t-too tight. I tried to struggle but he almost shoved a gun in my face so I couldn't help but freeze. Especially when I saw his th-thug friends had grabbed Jackie and the others. Serene stopped at the sight of us, and b-before we could shout anything, some filthy low-life smashed her over the back of the head.

I t-tried to start fighting again, to get the vile tom away from Serene as he was now picking her up to drag with us, but the horrible excuse for a feline tightened his grip on me, almost to the point of choking me and threatened that if we didn't behave they'd shoot Serene there and then. So we c-complied and followed the thugs to some cra- some broken down concrete building. Before we could realise it, they shoved us into some dingy old room and shut the door while they c-carried Serene away.
I remember desperately beating on the door, but the cat on the other side merely shouted at us to keep quiet with the click of a gun for reinforcement. At that moment I had felt so d-defeated and lost, I just turned to look at my adopted siblings holding tightly to each other and pulled them in for a hug. I didn't know what else to do and for all we knew Serene could've been shot already. So we held c-close and waited, each trying our best to look strong for the sake of the other.

Eventually our silent pleas were heard as a familiar dusty she-cat was led to the room. Serene ran in to hug us tightly, before explaining what had to happen from now on. She had agreed to work for these sewer rats in exchange for our lives, and I didn't know whether to feel relieved or.. betrayed. Maybe just a touch angry that she had given in to the bad guys, after she had proved how awesome she was! But this wasn't some fairy tale story, and I knew how unfair the world was. In fact if I was offered the same job I would've taken it to p-protect them too.. So if I showed any distaste, it wasn't about her choice.

One year Later:
And for a very long year, Serene d-did just that. I stayed in the apartment with Jackie, Haila and Robbie, as the oldest I had to look after them of course, and we'd wait for Serene every night. She'd leave, we worried, then she'd return and things would be all r-right for a few hours. I can't say we didn't have our share of 'what ifs' and scares of 'what could have h-happened' and 'why she was taking so long'. We were all children living in some cramped apartment in the b-base of a thug gang. And my two sisters had quite the active imagination. I tried my best to act c-calm, and tell the others that everything would work out because Serene had never failed us in the past. But then I know I also let my mind dwell a little too much on what she was d-doing before she returned. She never told us. Not even now... Ahem, but yeah. We had a year of that.

During that time, Serene slowly grew close to this one old tom who started coming over, and sometimes I'd catch them discussing ideas of how to escape this gang. B-but nothing really happened until one night when they finally d-decided to tell us all about their plan. A plan which we carried out only hours later in the late hours of the night. Serene had the lead with Haila, me and Jackie followed and Garret stayed at the back with Robbie, and we tried to creep out while the guards switched shifts. We almost made it too until the old tom knocked over a metal pipe which could have been a burglar alarm for all we needed. I remember the sheer panic that spread through us as shouts and cries of anger could be heard, but we sprinted out the door and kept running.

I couldn't say I was the fittest or fastest, but I k-kept up with the others best I could as Serene twisted down an alley and towards, what Garret exclaimed with anger as, the 'infected district'. Five minutes later, I must admit it felt like I couldn't do anything except run and pant, but then as Serene started making as much noise as she possible c-could I thought she had gone mad. But as we continued sprinting, I caught the b-bright blue gaze of a couple of infected through a broken window and caught on, so I pushed over anything I could while we ran like trash cans to create more sound.

Serene directed us to some garage d-door, pushing Haila under before Jackie and I closely followed. That moment I felt so overwhelmed from running I felt I could just flop to the floor, but we could all hear the screeches of the infected and shouts of p-panic from the foolish gang members who had chosen to chase us. Robbie got pulled in and then the four of us waited for Serene and Garret to climb under. B-but they didn't, not before we heard the shout of our leader in pain. I was tempted to almost peak out to see what had happened, but swiftly Garret and Serene tried to roll under as if nothing happened.
Unfortunately, I do mean tried because Serene got grabbed by something that was preventing her from pulling her arm to safety. As she tried to wrestle with it, other infected started clawing their way under and I could just feel the sheer panic of the gang cats outside who were getting torn apart by the infected. It happened so fast, and yet I still remember every second that followed Serene shouting 'Drop it now!'. Garret let the garage door drop, and it sliced through every infected and.. S-Serene's arm. Garret quickly pulled her away from the door and carried her through the mechanic shop to some kitchen in the back. There was so much b-blood pouring from her arm, but I remember the old tom just growling at us to stay calm and help him.

So with Robbie placed to the side, we each tried to help as best we could. We got out bandages, found some alcohol and watched Garret in pure stricken fear as he took off his belt and tied it tightly around the top of her arm to stem the blood flow. I remember every moment of the operation, as he poured alcohol onto the the bleeding wound, making her cry out more before grabbing some dangerous looking tools from the garage. I t-tried to ask what he was doing with a blow torch but it only came out in inaudible stutters as he started heating up a knife in the flame. He told one of us to find an iron and fortunately we managed to find one upstairs, which he also began to heat up once the knife was glowing with heat. Then, with the blade he sharply c-cut down through anything left of Serene's arm and before it could really start streaming more crimson blood, he took the iron and pushed it straight into the stump. She shouted loudly in pain before seeming to faint, Jackie and Haila both holding c-closely to her as Garret took away the burning tools and started rummaging for antibiotics and stuff. I couldn't really handle it at the time, everyone felt so scared and worried for Serene and our future, I slipped into the front of the mechanic shop. There I could just see through the window the c-carnage caused by the clash of the infected and the gang. It looked like almost all of the gang, from the plain evil to just the s-scared for their lives had been ripped apart limb by limb. I recall looking upon the scene with no sense of justice, but just a deep knot of p-pity in my stomach...

The wall:
We gave Serene a week to recover, or more so she gave herself a week, as by the end of it she had stubbornly d-decided she had rested enough even though she was still uneasy while on her paws. But we spent the whole next day traversing the abandoned city, avoiding cars and swimming through flooded areas. Just as the sun was setting however, a shadow loomed far in the distance which only made us all smile with relief. By night, we had finally reached the wall, but it was not as hopeful as we had first thought. As Garret pointed out, it was pretty much abandoned, and as we passed the security point that was manned by no cat, it was as clear as day he was right. I remember the curses Serene almost cried out, but as Haila reached out to her and we all looked at her hopefully, wanting to hear what to do next, she seemed to regain herself. In fact Robbie spotted an island off the coast due to a few faint lights and that's where we went next.

The island was overrun with infected as well, but as we m-met up with other survivors on the island, we formulated a plan and cleaned up the place. We set up sustainable farms, started training together to become stronger and became a close community. Eight years later and we're proud to say we've managed to keep control of this island and even the mainland to the wall. We've all suffered losses, and met many new and different cats, but most importantly each of us are still living, breathing and ready for another day which is enough for me.

Roleplay Events:
To be continued.